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| The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down!
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud!
For the next last weeks of this quarter, i will live the Truth... that Sin has been defeated! I am no longer a slave to sin, but to righteousness! How much more should i rejoice and not be so gloomy over circumstances! God is good, and He is WINNER! : )
ninachen.wordpress.com
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| I want to go to Resolved '09 : ( . Anyhow, after watching the Resolved promo video, i was reminded of Resolved last year, and the things that hit home for me.
"So that sin against God, being a violation of infinite obligations, must be a crime infinitely heinous, and so deserving of infinite punishment… The eternity of the punishment of ungodly men renders it infinite: and it renders it no more than infinite; and therefore renders no more than proportionable to the heinousness of what they are guilty of" - John Piper
"He screamed the scream of the damned for us. This scream is our scream, it should not be his scream. He screamed, and by God’s grace & by his sacrifice, I get to sing. The more you understand the scream, the more you’re affected by the scream…"
"For He so loved the world, that He remained silent when His son cried out" - C.J. Mahaney
I believe that the gospel has become mundane for me, and that in itself is sin--to not understand the life i've been given and to not understand the great satisfaction in Grace-filled Salvation. I've become no more than a pharisee. Please pray for a renewal of the meaning of redemption, and that i'm reminded that serving & ministry can fall under the same category as religious institution.
-- Nin
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| ... is defined in so many ways : )
But at this moment, i love my God, because i love:
- My beautiful apartmentmates, who are always so willing to serve Harvest through many different ways. Especially cleaning after people & cooking for people. And, i love them because they're always willing to do crazy things... dance parties, sleepover, holding hands & praying, worshipping, amongst many other things.
- My two beautiful best high school friend Or.G & Kimchee who (thankfully) are in SD with me. What a blessing it is to see us grow in Christ in Harvest, kairos, & Harbor. How blessed it is to meet up with you guys every so often & to encourage one another through praying & chatting. I love you guys like no other. Thanks for growing up with me!
- My funny funny mom, who loves cooking for me and talking to me on the phone (yes, i know she loves talking to me). I love our "non-racist" conversations, and our boy talks. HAHA... and even when she yells at my sister to me, and then tells me to tell my sister things. And, the many many times she tells me to 1. sleep early 2. take my vitamins 3. wear more clothes 4. take off my contacts ... HAHA
- Walks : ) however short it may be, and however embarrassing it may be! i will end the mushiness here.
But greater love is to sacrifice all of this. I don't know how, but i'm learning to be willing & obedient to giving up what i love more to the One i love most!
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| Oh Father in heaven,
We praise you for being the God of promises, for being the God who hears. I thank you for giving another year to live in Your word and to see You faithfully fulfill the promises in Your word. Oh Father, we worship You, because You are all that You say You are. You are no less, and the more we know You, the more we realize that You are even more. Father, I thank You for this past year. I thank you for all the heartbreaks, heartaches, trials, sufferings that you have placed in my path. I know that You have not given me more than i can't bear, but instead, You give me what my human eyes see as suffering, in order to show me that You are God, and most glorified in me when i trust in You. For the many times i've failed You this past year, i ask for forgiveness and that You cleanse me with Your Holy Spirit. I pray that You win my heart over and over again. Father, I thank You for hanging onto me when i was falling away, or even if i rebelliously turn myself from You. Thank You for burdening my heart for those who's beauty has been stripped away. Father, I see that Your heart hurts so much for Your children. I ask that this new year, you would empower me and equip me to act upon this burden in my heart. Father, i pray for a revival in my life and that i may live fully passionate to walk in Your ways. I pray that when my heart becomes apathetic and hard, You rock my world to the core, that i may once again be reminded of Your Son, who walked on this earth passionately for You. Father, annoint this new year with Your blessings, blessings that i may not see as blessings. I welcome You into my life for another year. I ask that You prepare my heart for Your Son's coming. I pray that Your gospel may move so powerfully within me and those around me. I pray for my apartmentmates. I ask that You move in our apartment to pray powerfully for the things around us. I pray that You may use us to Your glory and that we may not be apathetic or distracted by academics, hanging out, or the things of this world. I pray that we may grow together as sisters in Christ, and that we build each other up to serve You and worship You even better. Father, help us live to our fullest use, no matter how broken of vessels we are. Break us in order for us to shine on earth. Humble us in order for us to serve others & to serve You. Mend us, that our hearts may be full of love and compassion. Father, may You grow a desire so strong for You, a fire within that burns eternally for Your kingdom. I don't know what You have in planned for this new year, but whatever it is, let us serve You all the more, and love You all the more.
In Christ's name, we pray
Amen
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I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.
- Psalm 4:8
I think this might be one of the strangest things i've blogged about. Anyhow, i've been thinking a lot about sleep and dreaming. For the past year, i've struggled a lot with strange dreams that woke me up entangled with strange fear. I had silly dreams about John Piper (2x!) or about coach purses. I've had dreams of being tickled that woke me up in pain.
I've slept for 1.5 hrs before without any naps because of studying, i've also slept that little because i struggled with insomnia. I went to great ends to finally conqueor my sleeplessness. During that time, i also read the most books (so yay for that!). I've slept for 12 hours straight because of exhaustion, and i've slept for 12 hrs straight for no reason.
CJ Mahaney (in his A Biblical Understanding of Sleep sermon) mentions three points in his sermon:
1. Sleep is a daily gift from God
2. Sleep is a daily reminder from God
3. Sleep is a daily occasion to examine our hearts before God
To disregard your body's need for sleep, is to deny God's gift of sleep for us. It's to reject His grace, and it is ultimately sin. To sleep is to remind us of our dependence on God. It is ultimately a form of trust. For those 4-10 hrs (varies for each person) of sleep we rely on God to protect us as we fall into a form of relaxation. To sleep is a time where we can reflect on the goodness of God, and to fall asleep for the sake of sleep is a way we don't allow God to sanctify the ordinary areas of our lives.
Why am i so convicted of sleep? Because, i have come to realize that sleep was my defense mechanism. When i went to Taiwan earlier this past year, i slept 13-15 hrs a day, not because of my jet lag, but because i was running away. I slept most of the free time and in the jeepney in the Philippines, and i slept a lot on my trip to Tijuana. I have finally come to realize that i have been running away from my problems or from my fears.
And, applying Pastor Jeff's sermon today, i need to battle against my flesh (with discernment of course) ... this is not going to be fun...
But, for those who don't sleep much, please accept the grace from God. For those who fall asleep aimlessly anywhere and everywhere, remember to examine your hearts before God. And, for those who sleep too much, ask yourself what you might be running away from.
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